i said i love you, and i swear i still do

>.<>

"i can't plunge with my goggles on"

"then you have to learn"

"but if i have to plunge now i won't be able to swim cos it will fly off"

"just put it under your swim cap or something i don't care. you have to learn"


i won't be able to if you do not teach me!!!!

thorpe

he sure did retire early.. maybe the anti-doping agency was about to discover something.. haha..


swimming is a solitary and confining sport. there is no mirror like the weightlifter has, no opponent like the boxer has, no landscape like the runner has. there is only the bottom of the pool, and a black line as lonely as the swimmer.

Whispers of the wounds you’ve left on me


I wish you could just shut your mouth for the rest of your life unless I permit you to do otherwise. If I were cruel enough, I would already have used all the vulgarities in all the languages of the world, stuff them into your head and lock them permanently there.


Stupid fool! Do you not have a brain? Are you not able to process information and think for yourself? You had to check the answers to all the questions in the assignment we had to complete during class as I was completing it. My brain is for me. Not to be tapped on by you. Parasite! Worse still, you probably were flaunting your intelligence straight in my face. You made sure to complete each and every question slightly faster then I did. And when you did succeed, you’d compared the answers with me, splashing your all-so-perfect answers into my ears, knowing very well that in doing so you’ll be interrupting my thoughts and thus slowing down my progress in that assignment further. When I do finish the assignment before you, you’re ever so quick to point out my mistakes. Your swiftness in spotting my errors has sometimes made me feel as if those skills you’ve acquired are a cultic.


Moreover, before each paper, you will be saying things like ‘oh! She’s already finished studying and will definitely ace the paper’, and when I exclaim that the statement isn’t true you’ll go ‘she’s so intelligent that she doesn’t need to study much to be scoring full marks for it’. What in the world are you trying to do? Convince yourself before the start of the paper that I am smarter than you? And when we’ve realized afterwards that you actually did better than I it will give you a greater sense of satisfaction and a huge pride of your accomplishment?


I sense the smirk in you every time you beat me in a test, an experiment, a race, anything for that matter. I have already got a learning disability and commitments in school and at other places which makes it more tedious to study. So how much longer are you going to humiliate me, how much more laughers of ‘triumph’ will you be throwing at me, why do you treat me with deride and when will your selfish disdain towards my success end?


I have been so kind to share my answers with you and to sometimes even teach when you’re in doubt. During lunch I help you yet your food, run errands here and there for you, but this is how I see my kindness answered. Yet after everyday, even when I get so frustrated, I forgive, and specifically, I forgive you, thinking that people change, and that tomorrow you may be a better person. But at the back of my mind, having understood the ways of a human mind, I know its just false, fat hope.


If this caprice of yours was intended for evoking such upset in me, congratulations, you have succeeded.

It's not so easy loving me

It gets so complicated

All the things you gotta be

Everything's changing

But you're the truth

I'm amazed by all your patience

Everything I put you through



And when I'm about to fall

Somehow you're always waiting

Your open arms to catch me

You're gonna save me from myself

From myself, yes

You're gonna save me from myself



My love is tainted by your touchv

Well some guys have shown me aces

But you've got that royal flush

I know it's crazy everyday

Well tomorrow maybe shaky

But you never turn away



Don't ask me why I'm crying'

Cause when I start to crumble

You know how to keep me smiling

You always save me from myself

From myself, myself

You're gonna save me from myself



I know it's hard, it's hard

But you've broken all my walls

You've been my strength, so strong



And don't ask me why I love you

It's obvious your tenderness

Is what I need to make me

A better woman to myself

To myself, myself

You're gonna save me from myself

Cute and cuddly, dumb and stupid



They clean their face with their paws which are moist from their saliva. They burrow through the sawdust endlessly which could have been Jules Verne’s inspiration to his novels that all went beneath. But with every second you find delight in them, there is another hour that you have to clean up their remnants, refill their silver platters of food and water, and put up with their stench in the house (and can you imagine that the horrible irritating odor is used to attract their mate?)


No, I’m not against keeping hamsters. Actually, I was once a victim to taking care of them. Anyway, when I think about hamsters, they are always caged and running on the wheel. Let me emphasize, running on the WHEEL, in circles, IN SITU. That is the stupidest thing any creature on in this universe with a brain can possibly do. It’s psychologically damaging. It’s basically working, and pumping and slogging and NOT progressing. The only thing that furry chunk of meat, muscle, skin and bones possibly achieved is getting itself dizzy.


That’s how I feel running on the tread mill in the gym. But at ten p.m., in the still, silent and almost in the dead of the night, there’s no where else to go.


Actually, I don’t know why I should be slogging there. Burning rubber both on the bottom of my shoes and that thing my shoe comes in contact with (the one that moves?) is a waste of time. Especially in the night! But of course I’m not complaining about the burnt calories (*smile that stretches from ear to ear). You see, there this comforting sting associated with the night(and i guess i'm not doing the night justice by using that time to burn calories). It’s just pleasant, cool, and it makes me think about stuff. And somehow or rather I do get a little nostalgic. I think about friends, experiences, people and it always leads to thoughts about the future. But the night also has this other side to it. The mysterious, cold and cruel side of it. Just like a doctor Jekyll and mr hyde. This other side is one that makes one feel like squeezing out every tear available in their ducts. Those nights just spells loneliness and pain. Emotion evoking, some people say.


Be the night a vengeful one, all littered with tears and hatred, or be it one where one cuddles up with the pillow, under the warmth and comforts of the quilt, it will always be followed by another morning. Another day, another sunrise, another day of glimmering hope. But this day will also be followed by a night. And the next day on its tail.


So you see, it’s all just in circles. Like the hamster in its wheel and the treadmill that leads you round and round and round. What fools we all are.